According to His will

"My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." (Matthew 26:39,42,44)

I found that during the last month in my life, I’ve learned so many things from God, even though it feels longer; His presence has been so evident in my life. He has been holding me in such an incredible way that I am surprised for all the good things He has shown me in the storm that Craig and I are going through.
Just last Saturday in the morning I remember getting ready to go and see Craig at the hospital and saying to God: “Lord, it’s a new day, may your will be done upon our lives…again!” It sounds like a simple sentence, but so important for my life because sometimes I forget what I say to Him. He never forgets anything, He knows us so much better that what we think we ourselves know.
I went to see Craig and the doctor stopped by his room to tell him that they needed to do another procedure I didn’t want for him because I had had enough seeing him in pain during five days and didn’t want more. After all the tests the doctors have done on Craig, everything was perfect, all the results came back good but there was still a lot of pain that didn’t come from the surgery when they removed his gall bladder just a few days ago; after hearing that there were no more options, I hugged my husband and started saying to the Lord that I didn’t know how to pray, I was even asking God if for the last week I was praying the wrong prayer and I also told Him, that I was tired, I had no energy left to see my wonderful husband going through so much pain and not being able to do something to take it away. Just in the moment that I finished saying so, I heard so clear His answer: “Remember what you told me this morning, you said that you wanted my will to be done” And that statement was enough to take my weakness away and give me enough strength to be thankful because He was in control.
I, sometimes complain for things that happen and forget for a moment what I had said, what I had asked for. It wasn’t easy, but later on while trying to worship God at the waiting room I said: “Lord, I said that this morning but asking for your will to be done, I didn’t mean suffering” Then He showed me how much He truly care for us, and it was because of that procedure that the doctors did on Craig that his pain is different now. I can see him getting out of bed by himself, walking around and doing things he couldn’t do before. They finally found what else was wrong and he’s home now…Praise Him… in stormy days and in calm times, when all seems gone, when you can’t see, just praise the LORD!!!
God’s will is always the best one even sometimes when we think that it’s not. I sometimes forget about what I asked Him for, but I am truly blessed knowing that He always listens and answers my prayers.

Thank you heavenly Father for such a great love you have for us!!!